Quest to Bless - Older Women Admonishing the Young Women

I would like to take some time to write on the subject of older women admonishing the young women, because I believe it is a subject that is very much overlooked in our churches or is simply glazed over as we become wrapped up in our daily lives. From what I have seen and experienced in the many churches and denominations where I have attended, participated, and served, I have found the relationship of older women to young women very much lacking in the areas that Paul speaks of in Titus (see image). I want to see obedience to this Scripture spread in churches everywhere, and I want to be part of the godly band of ladies who heed the words of Paul and make a difference in younger lives. And so, I am speaking to Christian ladies everywhere when I earnestly encourage you to please take Paul's words to heart and be a teacher of good things and admonish the young women in your life and in your church. You are needed!

My mom did a superb job of raising and teaching me so I would be ready one day as a young woman to live my own life in the footsteps of Jesus, to be a good wife and mother, and to be a lady of character. I can't help but wonder how much more powerful her message and lessons to me may have been had there been a stronger support system of seasoned Godly women who wanted to come alongside my mother as she raised us or to come alongside me when I was a teenager and be an encouragement, an advisor, a teacher. I can only wonder how much stronger (in God's eyes) women across the board might be if they were being correctly taught and mentored by godly women who stepped up to the plate and said:

"Yes, Lord, use me. Use me and my experiences, my joys and my sorrows, and let me be a light for You in a young lady's life. Let me be more than an example. Let me be involved and make a difference!"

Older or Younger?: Guess what - the verses in Titus 2 don't say "the women older than 50" or the "women older than 70"; they just say, "the older women". I am 30, so I need and want to be taught by women older than myself who have been where I am now. At the same time, I can teach women younger than myself. I can reach out to young ladies in their teenage years and those in their twenties or those who are newly married or are dating. I like to look at it this way, if you are in a season of your life beyond the lady you are teaching, then you are on the right track. An "older" retired lady has much to share with the "younger" newly empty-nest mom. And the aged granny has much to offer the new bride. Likewise, the lady of 42 can be a great influence on the fourteen year old at her church.

In the Jewish culture, "adolescence" does not exist and a girl becomes a young woman at 12 years of age. So, Paul certainly intended that our teens be included (and focused on, in my opinion) in the group of "young women" to whom we should be admonishing. Particularly in today's culture, our young ladies in their teen years need a support system of older women who are encouraging them, instructing them, warning them, and advising them. Their tender hearts and minds need your godly influence. What makes us think that they can stand all alone in the face of our culture and just be okay? Why don't we see and act upon their delicate place in life and want to be involved. When these young women seem to pull away or seem lost, this is not the time for Christian women to back off. It's the time for them to pray and be involved in whatever way God is laying on their heart. Sometimes it requires boldness, because admonishing isn't always the comfortable thing to do.
 

Let's Be Honest: Here are some hard-nosed, introspective thoughts for you to consider. Ask yourself which statements fit you... then read on.

• I never before thought of myself as old enough for these verses to apply to me, but it's true that I am in a season of life beyond other young ladies and I should think about this some more!
• I would like to be more involved in young women's lives, but I feel that my opinion/advice is not wanted by them.
• I am really not a people person, so this concept is very uncomfortable for me.
• I have been a good wife and mother and I feel that I have "done my duty" with my own children. Life has finally settled down for me now.
• I feel very detached from the younger generation(s). I feel like I cannot really communicate with them.
• I would be interested in applying this verse to my life, but I don't know with whom or how to begin.
• I like being around people my own age. I have my own circle that I'm happy in.
• I just really never think about it.

Perhaps more than one statement applies to you. If you can claim any of these statements as your own, it doesn't disqualify you from needing to implement these verses found in Titus into your own life. The good news is that God can help you work through your feelings or insecurities. If you have godly character, He wants your life and devotion to Him to glorify Him by teaching young women, by making an impact, by passing on the good that you have learned. What a beautiful plan. What a blessing. How fulfilling for the older women and how appreciated by the younger women.

The Truth: The truth is, that young ladies who seemingly "have it all together" are still finding their way. They need you to encourage them in God's ways, to share your stories about when you and your husband got angry with one another, to give them some step-by-step advice on managing their home, to pat them on the back when they get it right. And the young ladies who are struggling more and seem to be difficult to reach, need you. They need you to mentor and love and instruct them. Can you help all the young ladies in your life? No. Can you try to help and bless some of them? Yes.

Getting Started: So how do you go about teaching the younger women? Well, I don't have a specific answer for you, because each woman is different and each relationship is different, but you could begin by praying about it. Ask God to show you how you can be a blessing and a mentor to a younger lady. Ask Him to prepare you, open your eyes to the right opportunity, and give you the wisdom and love to give of yourself and pour into another life. Sometimes there is a person who already looks up to you and would like for you to "take them under you wing," but you just haven't noticed before.

Relationship Building: Also, consider what gifts, talents, experiences, and personality traits you have that may aid you in your quest to bless. Do you quilt or crochet or cook? Do you love children? Have you been been through abuse? Have you traveled all over the country? Do you love to garden? Whoever you are and wherever you have been or not been, if you love God, then you have something to offer. You have something important to give, and these talents and experiences may give you some common ground with a young lady to begin building a relationship.

Remember that relationship building is important. Throwing random, unwanted advice around isn't going to help the young woman (even if she does need it). Your attitude must be Christ-like and your interest and care must be sincere. Go into your new quest with a heart to do God's will and please Him, and others will be blessed. Consider the Merriam-Webster definition for "admonish"...

ADMONISH
1: to indicate duties or obligations to
2: to express warning or disapproval to especially in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner
3: to give friendly earnest advice or encouragement to

Thank You: If you are one such lady who is already doing her part to teach the younger women in the way God has instructed, then thank you. Thank you. Perhaps you will be an encouragement to your peers and they will follow your lead. Perhaps the young ladies whose lives you are now influencing will one day pass on the truths and and encouragement that you are now giving. You are doing more than following Scripture, you are leaving a godly legacy, too.